i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
