I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
