can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
