Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
