I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize