Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
