She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
