david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
