No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
