I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
