worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
