I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
bring money and cleavage
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
my poor anus
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
