It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
