Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
