you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Randomize