and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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