Where did you get a picture of my penis
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
