Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
