You're completely useless in the revolution.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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