oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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