I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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