If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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