i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
