You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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