so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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