you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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