Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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