The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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