It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
