there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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