then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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