At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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