The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
