like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
