i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
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