I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
