don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
