So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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