maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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