Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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