If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
