I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
