all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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