she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
