how can u be prego again
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Randomize
