his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
