after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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