Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
