All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
