He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
