everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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