butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
