he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
