Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
