If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
