So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
zippers are such a cool invention
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
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