I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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